Why the Tree Loves the Ax by Jim Lewis

Author:Jim Lewis [Lewis, Jim]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-80559-1
Publisher: Crown/Archetype
Published: 2012-10-03T04:00:00+00:00

Fuck you!

What was he trying to hide?

HIS OWN BLINDNESS, MY OWN GUILT, THE OBSCURE TERRORS OF THE heart. In retrospect I did him wrong, I should have kissed his cheek and thanked him; but I didn’t listen, I had to know. I stepped into the elevator, and the floor beneath my feet fell.

All the way down I wrestled with Eros: I began to kick at the base of the elevator walls, making a concussion that resounded in the room; I pounded on the brass fixtures with my fists, until the whole cube shook with a tremendous thundering noise that threatened to bring the building down from the inside; I hit the alarm button and the bell began ringing, I was banging, the room was booming, I wanted to make a racket that they’d hear all over town. When I reached the lobby the doorman was standing with his hat in his hands and his eyes wide, waiting to see what was the matter; but I brushed right past him and he didn’t dare say a thing. If he had, I would have killed him and left him piled in the corner as a warning.

Outside it was cold. I realized that I’d left my jacket in Grady’s closet, where it would languish forever, and I pitied it. A few blocks down Park Avenue there was one car stopped behind a light, there was one more even farther, and above them were the dark buildings. The air smelled like it had been doped for a party that no one had attended; it made me feel very big, because I was by myself. I started west toward the shivering park.

I was halfway between Madison and Fifth Avenue before I stopped to look at the address that Grady had given me. On either side, dark stoops and stone doorways led into noiseless brownstones; ahead, an expanse of humid trees rose behind a low fortress wall like the woods of a medieval fairy tale. Underneath a drapery cone of light that had formed beneath a street lamp, I took out the slip of paper and looked at what was written there:

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